i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
