You're so nebulous sometimes
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
