I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
