she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
