he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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