Do you still have your period?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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