Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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(516): View more from New York

I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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(647): View more from Ontario

Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.

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(779): View more from Illinois

Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.

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