dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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