So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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