Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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