who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
