this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
