I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
