Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
