My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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