he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
