Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize