we made out on top of his cat.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
