im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
