I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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