do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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