matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
