Me too!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
