Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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