Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
