No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
