census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize