so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
