I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
