my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
