hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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