I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
