No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
