Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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