I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
