if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize