Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
As shirtless as possible
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
