They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
