Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
