My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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