I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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