when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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