In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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