i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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