I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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