It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
