Where is the hickey?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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