I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
