Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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