Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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