Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
