When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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