I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
