She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
