And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
