You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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