I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
