There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
