so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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