What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I will be naked everywhere
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize