like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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