I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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